By Liz Wiltzen
Have you ever found yourself thinking: “If only x, y or z were different, then there would be nothing in the way of my perfect life.” Often when our lives are not the way we would like them to be, we get busy looking for the external cause. But since we have very limited control over outside circumstances, it’s not the most effective place to target our energies.
On the journey toward creating the life we want, most of us eventually recognize that any changes we want must come from within – but perhaps you feel you have limited or no options to create a different situation. The good news is this is rarely, if ever, the truth. If there are areas in your life that are not matching your ideal vision for them, here is a powerful place to look:
What beliefs are you buying into that are getting in your way? And what if changing those beliefs was completely within your control?
I used to think that if we believed something, it was written in stone. Unchangeable, not open to a rebuild. For a long time, it never even occurred to me that transforming a belief was an option. In short, I thought our beliefs were who we are, that they came into the world with us and were an integral part of our identity. The day I realized this was not true was profoundly liberating. Life was a certain way before that day, and completely different after it.
If we hold beliefs that are working for us in our lives – ones that are creating peace, joy and positive motion – naturally it’s ideal to keep reinforcing them. This post is about the other kind of beliefs – the ones that keep us stuck, small, unhappy, fearful and limited.
What Are You Ready to Let Go Of?
I challenge you to pick one belief that’s holding you back. We all have them, but they are often so close to home that we don’t view them as beliefs – we think it is simply the way it is. It could be around any aspect of life – here are some examples:
• money (I don’t have enough; I can’t figure out how to have more)
• health (age = quality of health I can have; I’m too busy/tired to take better care of myself)
• love (is complicated; hard to find; can’t be counted on)
• opportunity (I would if only…)
• time (…is in short supply)
• career (I can’t change jobs, I need the security/income of my current one)
Pick one thing you believe that is not uplifting, empowering, and resourceful in your life. Something that doesn’t match what you actually want in that area. If you can’t think of anything, look at the different aspects of your life that are not working optimally. What you see there is a reflection of what you currently believe.
What If You Believed Something Else?
Once you have settled on one, ask yourself this: If I could believe anything I wanted about this thing, what would it be?
This can be an unsettling process; there’s a reason we believe what we do (usually has to do with safety and/or comfort). What we believe, on some level, makes sense to us. The problem is we don’t continually re-evaluate our beliefs to see if they make great sense. We rarely check in and ask ourselves: Is this the most advantageous belief I can hold? Or is it preventing me from living my life fully?
Using the examples above, following are alternative beliefs that can help us to live the life we truly want:
• money (I have enough; I can figure out how to make more)
• health (I can be healthy and active at any age; taking care of myself is a priority)
• love (doesn’t have to be complicated; can happen when you least expect it; can be safe)
• opportunity (I can change my life at any time; I have endless opportunities in life)
• time (I have enough time to do what I need to do)
• career (I can change jobs; I can find work that is fulfilling and pays the bills)
I encourage you to step into new territory for a few moments and think big. No holding back. Imagine there are no limits to what you believe to be true. If old, inhibiting voices try to creep in, notice them but do not allow them to take hold. Stay focused on connecting with your optimal vision.
What is one new belief that would change the game for you? Inspire you to be open to life in a new way? Support you in doing something more healthy and rewarding? Help you to stop doing that counterproductive thing?
Take It for a Spin
For one week, act as if this new belief is 100% true. Write it on post-it notes and put it everywhere, say it 100 times over in your mind, look for evidence of it in the world. Really step into it.
Honour this exercise with your whole heart – remember you are exploring how to create the life you truly want.
And watch what happens next.
Liz Wiltzen is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach who is passionate about connecting people with their inner wisdom, resources and creativity,enabling them to live their absolute best life. She received her professional training from The Coaches Training Institute, which is the world’s leading International Coach Federation accredited coach-training program. Liz lives in Banff, Alberta. You can visit her website at www.liveattuned.com